A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. – Ezekiel 36: 26
Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. – Galatians 6: 2
A new heart…a new spirit…the requisite preparation, stealth and explicit, if incomplete, had progressed sufficiently. Candice was now ready to receive these gifts as promised by the Lord in Ezekiel to the house of Israel, and, to each of us. There had always been many who would share the burden Candice carried, her new heart, new spirit, would now allow them to do so. The day of her renaissance now come.
As Candice mentioned in her letter to Dillon and Brooke, Marshall’s surgery was performed without complication. The bed rest it required was not as easy, at least not in terms of the frustration it brought with it. Marshall was becoming more restless with each passing day. Though he was assured a complete recovery, he had no clear picture of when, or now, even if, he would be able to return to his mission as the physical requirements for him to do so were quite demanding. During this period of time, he couldn’t work or play, he did however discover that his injury could sometimes be used to his advantage at chore time, as I said earlier, he is still a teenager!
With her first pregnancy, Candice experienced very little discomfort and no morning sickness; even her labor and delivery (induced) were relatively easy. She would not be as fortunate the second time around. She lost her breakfast nearly every morning and had a great deal of discomfort and pain, what else could she expect with twins? As the strain of her pregnancy began to take a greater toll, her doctor reduced her to half days at work and not long after, she was told to stop working completely. This helped somewhat with the physical problems she was experiencing but created other problems…namely bills!
We decided together that she would give up her apartment and move back in with her grandma, we would continue to make her car payment and other financial obligations until she could get back on her feet again. Though the majority of expenses (medical, counseling, etc.) are paid by LDSFS, there were many expenses which were not. The bill for the many plane tickets, Candice’s living expenses, phone bills, car payments, and Marshall’s medical bills mounted. In what can only be described as another testament to the fact that, as the Lord had shown me so many months before as I sat in Sacrament meeting on that day I described, he loved us, he was aware of our needs and he would meet our needs, emotional and financial.
Adding to the financial burden, but also a strong sign of her change of heart and her willingness to allow others to share her burden, Candice requested that all of the family be present for the placement of her twins. We couldn’t know then if this would even be possible with school and work commitments but we too liked the idea of her brothers sharing this experience with us as we knew it would be an opportunity for all to bond and to grow, together.
Giving up my apartment was difficult. I was independent. I didn’t want to go back to depending on someone. I love my Grandma, and cherish the time we were able to spend together. We have formed a very strong bond. A bond words cannot describe. Saying that I love my Grandmother is an understatement. I can’t even think of words that can express accurately how I feel about my Grandmother. Still for an independent person that doesn’t like to ask for help, it was difficult. Add to that being constantly sick and in pain. I was just a giant grump. I appreciated the help my parents gave me. Worrying about all of the financial crap while not working was very stressful. Having them ease that stress was a huge relief.
By this time, I had all but stopped talking to the twins’ birth father. He got mad at me one day when he wanted to know what I was having, and I told him I didn’t know yet (I hadn’t found out yet). He told me when I wanted to act like an adult I could call him. So I decided it was better to just not call him, ever. If he was really that interested in the pregnancy, he could make an effort, I wasn’t going to force anything on him. As hard as that was, the stress relief of not having to deal with him was also nice, and welcome. Though deep down, I wanted him to care, I wanted him to step up, I wanted him to give me a reason not to place. Still I knew it wouldn’t happen. I had been disappointed too many times by people. What would make him any different. Nothing.